Cyberbullying: Why Taking Your Child’s Device Away Isn’t the Solution

Picture this: Your child comes to you, devastated, and shares that they’ve been targeted by a bully online. As a parent, your first instinct is to protect them, and it’s easy to see why your immediate reaction might be to take their device away.

But here’s the problem: While this approach may feel protective, it can unintentionally make your child feel like they’re being punished for being a victim. Not only can this erode trust, but it also doesn’t address the real issue: cyberbullying itself.

In this blog, we’ll cover:

• Why taking devices away isn’t the solution to cyberbullying

• How to approach the issue with empathy and effective strategies

• Steps you can take to help your child navigate this tricky terrain and rebuild their confidence

Let’s tackle this together.

Why Taking Devices Away Can Backfire

1. It Feels Like a Punishment for the Victim: Imagine you’re already feeling hurt and vulnerable, and the one thing connecting you toyour friends, your device, is suddenly taken away. For many kids, this can feel like being grounded for something they didn’t do wrong.

• The unintended message: “You’re to blame for this.”

• The outcome: Your child may feel even more isolated, making it harder for them to come to you in the future

2. It Doesn’t Address the Bullying Itself: Removing your child’s device doesn’t stop the bully. In fact, it can leave your child feeling powerless, as though avoiding the problem is the only solution.

• What they need: Tools and strategies to respond to bullying in a healthy, proactive way, not avoidance

3. It Erodes Trust Between You and Your Child: When a child shares their struggles with you, they’re demonstrating trust. If that’s met

with a response that feels punitive, they may think twice before confiding in you again.

• Trust is key: You want your child to know you’re their safe space, no matter what

So, What Should You Do Instead?

Here are some evidence-based strategies to help your child navigate cyberbullying without taking away their device:

1. Open the Lines of Communication

Start by listening…really listening. Create a space where your child feels heard and supported.

• Ask questions like:

  • “How did that make you feel?”

  • “What do you think would help right now?”

  • “Do you want advice, or do you just need me to listen?”

This gives them control over how the conversation unfolds and shows them that you’re on their side.

2. Work Together on a Plan

Rather than dictating solutions, collaborate with your child to create a plan of action.

• Steps could include:

  • Blocking or reporting the bully

  • Adjusting privacy settings on their accounts

  • Keeping a record of harmful messages as evidence

By involving them in the process, you empower them to take ownership of their digital space.

3. Reassure Them That It’s Not Their Fault

One of the most harmful effects of bullying is the shame it can bring. Remind your child that they’re not responsible for someone else’s bad behaviour.

• Say things like:

  • “This is not your fault.”

  • “You’re not alone in this.”

  • “I’m proud of you for speaking up.”

  • “We will get through this together.”

4. Build Their Resilience

Helping your child develop emotional resilience is one of the best gifts you can give them.

• How to do this:

  • Teach them self-soothing techniques, like deep breathing or journaling.

  • Encourage hobbies and activities that boost their confidence and self-worth.

  • Remind them of their strengths and past successes.

When to Involve External Help

Sometimes, cyberbullying escalates beyond what can be managed at home. In these cases, it’s important to bring in additional support from a psychologist in your area.

When to act:

• The bullying involves threats of harm or violence.

• Your child’s mental health is suffering (e.g., signs of anxiety, depression, or withdrawal).

• The bullying persists despite your best efforts to address it.

Who to contact:

• Your child’s school: Most schools have protocols in place to handle cyberbullying.

• Mental health professionals: A therapist can help your child process their feelings and develop coping strategies.

• Authorities: If the bullying involves threats, harassment, or illegal activity, it may be necessary to involve law enforcement.

How to Foster a Safe Digital Environment at Home

1. Teach Smart Online Practices

Help your child learn how to navigate the internet safely. This can include:

• Using strong passwords

• Keeping profiles private

• Avoiding oversharing personal information

2. Model Healthy Tech Habits

Kids learn a lot from what they see. Show them what a healthy relationship with technology looks like by:

• Setting limits on your own screen time

• Putting devices away during family time

• Prioritising real-life connections

3. Encourage Positive Digital Communities

Not all online spaces are toxic! Encourage your child to engage in communities that align with their interests and values. For example:

• Joining forums or groups focused on hobbies like gaming, art, or reading

• Following creators who promote positivity and kindness

And Lastly, Be Your Child’s Ally

When it comes to cyberbullying, your child doesn’t need a punishment, they need a partner. And yes, you can be their ally while still holding firm boundaries around screens at home. By keeping the lines of communication open and focusing on solutions, you can help them feel supported and empowered in the face of adversity.

And remember, you as a parent are not alone in this journey either.

Follow The Playful Psychologist on Instagram/Facebook/TikTok (@theplayfulpsychologist). For more tips on navigating the online world with confidence, or visit www.theplayfulpsychologist.com for more resources to support your mental health journey.

Have you faced a cyberbullying situation with your child? Share your thoughts or strategies in the comments below. Your story might help another parent.

About The Author

Emily Hanlon
The Playful Psychologist

Oh hey there! I’m Emily, the clinical psychologist behind The Playful Psychologist—a platform dedicated to rethinking how we approach child behaviour and emotions. My goal? To share evidence-based, practical strategies that celebrate individuality, empathy, play, and genuine connection. I’ve been in the field of psychology for over a decade, but my journey into this work began long before that. Growing up with an autistic brother and now raising three kids of my own, I’ve learned firsthand the value of flexible, supportive approaches. That personal experience, combined with years of clinical expertise, inspired me to create

The Playful Psychologist in 2018 as a resource hub for parents, teachers, and clinicians. Since then, it’s grown into a trusted space for thousands, offering courses, workshops, and digital resources that cut through the noise of generic advice. Everything I create is research-backed, tailored, and designed to make supporting the children in your life a little easier. When I’m not sharing strategies or cheering parents and professionals on, you can find me running after my three little ones, sipping coffee, or finding new ways to embrace play in everyday life.

Want more tips and resources? Follow me on Instagram and Facebook, or visit The Playful Psychologist to explore everything I have to offer!